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Jennie Marlow

Coaching for intelligent, aware people who want to live deeply fulfilling lives

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One Simple Thing You Can Do Right Now

September 27, 2014 By Jennie Marlow Leave a Comment

In a conversation with a prospective client, I was asked this question: “What is one simple thing I can do right now to feel more on track?” My answer was, “Stop fixating on the goal, and start focusing on the essence you want from achieving that objective.”

“By essence, you mean, the emotion I want to feel, right?” she asked. Well, not exactly.

The word feeling has some interesting definitions. According to the Oxford Dictionary, there are three applicable definitions:  an emotional reaction; a strong emotion; a belief, especially a vague or irrational one. (Yes, this last one definitely got my attention!) Essence is none of these things, because none of these things is inextricably tied to our fulfillment.

Spotted Eagle describes essence this way: “Essence is a feeling state that comes about naturally when we feel deeply fulfilled by something present in our lives.”

The key difference is that essence is the feeling we long for in our hearts when our desire for something is truly authentic. Essence can be universal, such as the desire for joy, creativity and ease. Or it can be linked to a circumstance, such as serenity, freedom, fun or unconditional love.

The point is, essence determines whether or not an outcome we are pursuing results in the the fulfillment we want to receive from having that outcome occur. If the essence is there, we feel successful, peaceful and deeply satisfied. If essence is not there, the outcome can work out exactly as we planned, but it disappoints and frustrates us because it doesn’t give us what we want at a heart level. This can leave us wondering, “Is that all there is?” Or worse, a lack of essence can turn the outcome into an unsupportable burden.

The one simple thing I told this individual to do right now is to start identifying the essence of her desire before she launches into the full-on pursuit of an outcome. Once she identifies the essence, she might see that her desired outcome is actually skewed by fear, neediness or ego, and then be able to make a more essence-rich choice. In any case, by focusing on essence, she offers herself an unparalleled opportunity to explore other outcomes that might deliver the experience of essence she really wants in her heart of hearts.

The one thing she can do right now is to seek essence in small ways every day and discover an immediate increase her level of fulfillment. As a daily practice, essence can then guide her efforts toward all of her goals and help to ensure that what results actually fills the fulfillment bill.

Essence Words

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Authenticity, Joy, Spotted Eagle

What a Vulture Can Teach Us About Bliss

August 24, 2014 By Jennie Marlow Leave a Comment

It’s always fascinating to see what immature birds are up to this time of year. So, when a young vulture took an interest in an old tarp that covers our pile of kindling, I couldn’t help but notice.

This juvenile, fresh out of the nest, has clearly acquired some knowledge about how his kind feed themselves, but he is still rather ignorant of key truths about food. This has encouraged him to go where food isn’t, namely a tarp.

Clearly, he has watched his parents scavenge his meals from dead animal carcasses. As you watch him, you might notice that our tarp bears some resemblance, in form, to an animal hide. And he is making an admirable effort to peck his way through it.

https://jenniemarlow.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/vultureclip.mp4

Ignorance is like that. It’s that familiar condition of partial understanding which leads to misplaced energy and effort. The mind declares, “Eureka! I have found it!” (Whatever “it” happens to be at the time.) And so we excitedly pour energy into the endeavor, misdirected by our excitement and bliss to a disappointing conclusion.

The truth is, ignorance is bliss only while we are projecting that our efforts will lead us to what we think we want. And here’s the irony: rather than growing and learning from our disappointing results, we tend to keep chasing bliss instead.

Now, eventually this not-so-little fellow moved on, presumably driven by hunger. However, I suspect he did not engage in what a human might do, and that is to beat himself up when his efforts did not come to fruition. He very likely learned a thing or two instead.

Filed Under: Life Tagged With: Authenticity, Joy, Spotted Eagle

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